2023 In Review. Four Lessons
Our time here is limited. Let's make the most of it
Here are four lessons and mindsets that I’ve been cultivating this last year to help my body, mind, and spirit.
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2023 In Review. Four Lessons
Another year in the books.
My wife gave birth to a beautiful and sweet baby girl. I got into the best shape of my life. The company I work for has had massive growth and we’re going into 2024 with momentum. I sunk countless hours and money into a kitchen remodel and many other house projects. Got plenty of time outdoors. Wrote 500 words a day, every day, and read dozens of interesting and eye-opening books
There’s a lot I could say; a lot of “long-lists” I could write. But I’ll keep this succinct. I want to share the four major changes and mindsets I’ve integrated in 2023. Simple things that have allowed me to connect deeper with my mind, body, and spirit, and lead a more fulfilling life.
I hope this helps you in the coming year, as much as it’s helped me in 2023.
God bless and have a wonderful New Year.
1. Read Books “On Fire”
Most casual readers will be lucky to read and absorb 100-200 books in their lifetime. So why waste your time reading popular psychology books or pedantic self-development bestsellers?
At the beginning of the year, I committed to challenging myself to read controversial, relatively unknown, and canonical works of fiction and non-fiction. I wanted to read books that peeled back the curtains of human nature; that gave me an intoxicating energy, that kept me up at night. I wanted to read books that were on fire.
Much of the New York Times bestseller list is cliche garbage; it speaks to what you already know or intuit. In general terms, it’s statist trash. Ruled by a committee and filtered from extremes.
I didn’t want books that passed the time, I wanted books that ignited my mind and challenged my preconceptions.
Some that stand out from this year:
Sexual Personae by Camille Paglia: A detailed exploration of psychological representation of the personae and archetypal representations of men and women from pre-history to the modern day. Each sentence Paglia writes is both shocking and intoxicating.
Child of God by Cormac McCarthy: The story of Lester Ballard, a deranged psychopath romping through the woods and hills of Appalachia. A dark and twisted novel that shows the underbelly of human nature.
Selective Breeding and the Birth of Philosophy by Costin Alamairu: A controversial work of philosophy and history arguing that we ignore biological quality through mate selection. He argues that the “philosopher” ignores the intuited reality we understood before the dawn of civilization; that equality is a myth and that we behave in our day-to-day lives subconsciously aware of this fact of nature.
2. Be Present or Die
The only thing we have control over at all times is how we react and respond to the present moment. When you understand and internalize this, that time is passing before you, marching you to the inevitable, each moment carries real weight.
Presence is a denial of death.
You can’t outrun the inevitable, but you can live with such conviction that each moment bears fruit. Anything less than full engagement with the present is akin to walking through life in a daze.
We can all relate to the feeling of waking up to years having gone by. Routines become cemented. Novelty wears off. The endless summer days spent exploring outside with friends become a faded memory of an old life. But the present moment, as it was in childhood, is still the only moment.
And there is more to find in it as jaded adults than we often realize.
Not everything is new as it was when we were young. But waiting at the bus stop, enjoying a bite of food, or listening to a song, is not a bridge to a better moment. It is the moment
.How much of your life is dedicated to reacting to things internally; letting others invade your mind and thoughts in moments when you could be engaged in the task of life? Evict those who live rent-free in your mind. The best revenge is to live by your values, engage with your senses, and show gratitude in the present.
As Marcus Aurelius said:
“Do not waste the remaining part of your life in thoughts about other people, when you are not referring your thoughts to some aspect of the common good.”
As a new Dad, I’m relearning how to be present. My nature is to want to push, to run into the next thing, to scheme and plan. And now I’m forced to return to the moment. I don’t want to be reminding myself to be present, I want to be present.
So I return to the body. I return to sensation. I return to observation.
If you want to feel like a kid again on the last day of school before summer break, this is how.
3. Do It More. Do It Better
A constant state of shiny object syndrome has parasitically attached itself to the mind of modern man.
This ONE machine will help you get a six-pack in one month!
This supplement will burn fat and increase energy!
This online business opportunity guarantees that you’ll make $20k/mo in 4 months!
Every day we’re flooded with new opportunities to make money, improve our relationships and health, and experience a new adventure. They all sound good. So out of impulse, we try and put 10% of our time here, and 10% of our time there, until we’re doing a dozen things half-assed and not making any of the progress we promised ourselves.
Shiny objects highjack your dopamine. They convince you the new opportunity is the easier, sexier, or more fun alternative. It’s a symptom of our collective narcissism, and the language of capitalism understands our psychology better than any shrink or psychoanalyst (I know, I work in marketing).
Gold nuggets are rare; and quick, easy, golden opportunities found swiping online or in advertisements don’t exist.
Everything requires work. Some require less than others. But it always takes work — moving into the mental friction and doing the damn thing. And because you only have so much time. So much energy. How you allocate it is crucial.
At the start of 2023, I wrote down my life core focus areas to avoid the pull of shiny objects:
Health and Fitness
Family and Friends
Job and Business
Writing and Creativity
Within each of these categories, there are things I must do to reach my goals.
If you’re in terrible shape, a complicated course promising 6-pack abs in 3 months is going to set you up for failure. The baseline, what you must do, is get active, change your diet, and lift weights. This sounds more difficult, but in reality, it’s the easy long-term solution.
If you’re a creative or writer like myself, the solution to improving your writing is to write more, and more, and more. The solution is not buying 20 books on writing and carefully marking the margins while not getting any words on the page.
You find energy in pushing through friction; becoming more competent at your skills and interests, and committing to the task that must be done each day. This is where you find lasting energy.
If something is working, double down. Expand your time horizon and become addicted to the process, to becoming 1% better each day, and understanding yourself enough to know when a shiny object is about to kill your momentum.
There is no “magic” formula. Simple scales.
Do it more. Do it better.
4. People Are A Gift
When you open up your phone or check the news, you’re being presented with a new enemy.
“They” are doing this. “They” are doing that.
We become paranoid schizophrenics, constantly scanning our environment for the “they” that exists on our screens.
Yes, there are real enemies, and yes, I firmly believe some values and ideas are cancer to humanity. But in the real world, when you’re surrounded by strangers at a coffee shop or the grocery store, people are just people. Observe them and you’ll see beneath the layers of opinion you carry around with you.
I have made an effort this last year to connect with strangers. To ask how people’s days are going. And I was shocked by the connections and opportunities that fell into my lap. Opening up, taking my headphones out, and asking simple questions; I’ve signed new clients, made new friendships, and had dull weekdays enriched through connection.
People are a gift, and they always will be. Don’t let the news cycle and fear-peddling turn you into an antisocial recluse.
As always, thanks for reading
-Joe