The "Third Place"

Why we need a dedicated space outside of work and home

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The “Third Place”

There are few things more energizing than an in-person conversation with intelligent, curious, and value-aligned people. Social media will never replace this. We can subconsciously detect a subtle change in mood or tone through tiny movements in the muscles in our faces. We cannot grasp someone’s wit, cynicism, or enthusiasm in the DM’s.

As valuable as our digital tools are for connecting us with like-minded and interesting people, there is an inevitable wall that we run into when trying to have conversations that genuinely move the needle forward.

Throughout the day, most of us interact with a small group of people in person. You talk to your coworkers. You talk to your family. And if you’re lucky, you have a group of friends that you see on occasion. We don’t often consider the psychological necessity of a third — self-selected — in-person community; a third place.

It isn’t that we’re bored with the conversations we have every day with our spouse, coworkers, or close friends. These conversations have an obvious utility. But home and work are not typically an environment that is conducive to exploring intellectual, social, political, or physical interests with others. As much as I love my wife and enjoy our conversations, I am not going to pretend that she is as interested in my history or literature rants as someone else with that shared passion.

Social media and digital communities are an outlet. They solve the problems of geographic distance while being convenient and easy to use. But what they lack is a human element. This is why — even after an interesting online discussion — we often still feel empty. We feel as though we gave our time over to a screen instead of to a real human. The third place becomes a physical intermediary. A place to congregate between work and home. A place that brings us back to the real world. That gives us the ability to connect physically with others who share the same goals, interests, and aspirations.

We’ve Lost Third Places in the 21st Century.

Historically, third places have served as a hub for the local community to share news, gossip, organize, and entertain. We inherited the tradition and infrastructure of these third places, but technology has changed them into a sterile facsimile.

Coffeehouses emerged in the late Renaissance and early Enlightenment period as a place for intellectual discussion, work, and debate. In the 20th century, “Cafe culture” in Western Europe and America ignited the literary careers of the “Beats” like Allen Ginsberg and Gary Snyder and the “Lost Generation” writers like Ernest Hemingway. During Medieval Europe and the early days of the American Colonies, taverns and inns served as a central community hub. Yes, people drank, but these were not places that served the exclusive purpose of getting hammered and finding a cheap lay. Many of the foundational ideas of the American Republic were discussed and debated by the founding fathers at the City Tavern in Philadelphia. Today, your average American cafe is full of people clicking and clacking on a laptop with Airpods in and your average bar or pub is full of annoying drunks.

It’s naive to think that the third place of the future will be an environment all will share. We aren’t going to reignite the cafe culture of the 20th century, nor should we want to. Our window to the world has expanded far beyond the concerns and interests of our immediate community. We get more news and information in one week than the average person in Medieval France got in years. Our identities have multiplied. The common small-town farmer of the 18th century might identify today as, “A libertarian homesteader gun-enthusiast and hybrid strength athlete.

The goal and function of our new third place will be to organize individuals around shared interests and goals. There will naturally be overlapping values, opinions, and experiences. This should be encouraged. But the foundation of the third place you choose should be a desire to build intellectual, mental, spiritual, and physical capacity. To remember and cultivate that fire ignited by a group of people who come together around a similar shared mission and value system.

Those who have become trapped by in the online vortex of cheap pleasure-seeking are unlikely to create, or find any value from a third place. They live in a hellish simulation of a third place every day: talking shit in the Call of Duty lobby, arguing with people on Reddit, scrolling on TikTok, and watching pimple-face Zoomers stream Minecraft on Twitch. If we don’t attempt to organize in-person around our shared ideas and interests, we’re giving leverage to the soul-sucking technology that ensnares us and warps our minds and perspectives each day. Do we want this? Of course not.

If We Build It, They Will Come

My ideal third place is an environment where men can build community, work, train, learn, and socialize.

It would require a survey and interview to be accepted, and it would have a strict code of conduct. Physically, it would embody the aesthetics of the third place of the past. It would remind us of our capacity to achieve great things. There would be a community room with comfortable sofas and chairs, a stage for events, a poker table, and a long table for discussion and work. There would be a library — a dedicated quiet space — with a fireplace and thousands of books lining the walls. There would be a gym with nice equipment and a dedicated open area to practice combat sports or move freely. There would be a courtyard and a small place for prayer or meditation.

Does this sound like a fantasy? Sure. I don’t expect an environment like this to appear out of nowhere in my town of 15,000. But by doing the thought exercise, I am outlining a set of criteria for who and where I’d spend my free time outside of work and home.

I believe that the social, political, and artistic movements of the 21st century will be forged in these in-person environments. They will be imperfect at first. They will be messy. They will meet and organize in empty offices and warehouses. But like all movements, they will grow into a tangible community. They will develop an aesthetic and philosophical identity.

Home allows us to build a family. Work allows us to provide for our family and put our talents and abilities to use in the market. The third place allows us to channel our individual and collective will towards something tangible and powerful. It allows us to have our psychological needs of community met. The third places of the future will become dangerous places. They will be targeted by enemies. They will be called secret societies.

I don’t have the answers or the pragmatic roadmap for how these third places will be built. But I see a culture that is recognizing their necessity. Look, for example, at the “run clubs” popping up in cities around the country. My perfect third place may not exist in my small rural town. It may not exist under your preferred criteria. But I am confident that within the next 5-10 years, there will be a momentum shift.

Right now, there are people with a vision and the necessary capital who are imagining what I am, who are looking at the standard coffee shop or gym and thinking: “How could we make this space something truly remarkable? What else could we offer here?”

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As always, thanks for reading

-Joe