What Makes You Interesting

Developing Curiosity in the Routine of Life

Welcome to today’s edition of That's A Good Idea. If this is your first time reading, subscribe here.

One quick thing:

• If there is a recent essay that has sparked your curiosity, given you a new idea, or in any way contributed positively to your daily life, let me know below in the comments. That’s A Good Idea is a constantly evolving publication and I want to know what piques your interest. If you’re a writer, you are likely inclined, like me, to get lost down whatever rabbit hole you stumble upon. While I aim to vary the topics each week, I want this to remain something you look forward to reading and to do so I thrive on suggestions and feedback. So if you have a rabbit hole you think I should explore, let me know.

Now onto today’s edition…

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What makes you interesting, is being interested.

If your day-to-day life feels like a dull routine. If you're chasing temporary stimulation through drugs or alcohol. If the conversations you're having with strangers are stale; shifting your body away from the person in front of you when you speak with them — the subtle “I'm not interested” cue. If the excitement of the next destination outweighs the feeling when you arrive…

You have lost something.

Consider your childhood memories.

Why did the days feel endless? Because each moment was new.

Flipping over rocks to look for bugs, exploring the woods, learning what it felt like to take your hands off your bicycle handlebars and still keep your balance. The feeling that the world was right outside, waiting to be found.

When we reach a certain age, we become trapped in routine.

This is natural and necessary. We can’t live as children forever (though some try), but we can find and maintain an energizing curiosity about the world around us. We don’t ever have to be bored.

Piercing the “Boring” Life

Think about each specific block of time throughout your day.

Your morning coffee and shower, the commute to your job, your evening with friends or family, an hour or so of exercise and contemplation, a video game or television series you enjoy, and a sliver of time to read a book before you fall asleep and repeat the process.

We maintain these routines out of necessity. These systems work because they allow us to meet the responsibilities that come with adulthood, but they can also trap us.

Trent Reznor’s song, “Everyday is Exactly the Same” reflects this:

“I believe I can see the future because I repeat the same routine. I used to think I was happy here, but then again it might have been a dream.”

Within each time block of our day, we’re typically thinking about what comes next. We’re not present. Unable to engage with the sensations and thoughts as they exist around us. We think about the coworker we have to deal with while we’re poking at our scrambled eggs, we think about the show we’re going to watch later while we drive home, and we think about the next day while we pretend to read our book.

Some of us wake up after decades of living this way and wonder where the hell did all the time go.

Living in a state of chaos is not something we want, but we can break the cycle of monotony that makes each day go by like a flash. There are two things you can start doing today to become a more interesting and interested individual.

1. Develop a curiosity about the small parts of the world

If you ask yourself questions, you’ll be surprised at the answer.

This is what children do. They are constantly peeling back new layers of the world. Sometimes they make us roll our eyes, but other times they allow us to live vicariously through their curiosity and excitement. The world for a child is always refreshingly new.

If you choose to look at the world through the eyes of a curious and present observer, there is no shortage of fascinating and unknown things to engage your mind.

This is how you come to know yourself and develop an understanding of others. You become excited and interested in the answers you generate in your own mind.

Why does this chord change in the bridge of the song give me goosebumps?

What is it about the flavor of this orange that tastes so damn good?

Why is my coworker or boss using this specific strategy to finish the project?

The only reason these might sound like “boring” things to ask yourself, is because you’ve become trapped in the non-interested mind of a 21st-century automaton.

Since you can’t walk out of your 2 p.m. Monday meeting to go hike the Appalachian Trail, it’s up to you to turn the “dull moments” of your days into thought experiments.

This will allow your brain to do what it does best, seek new ways of knowing. Away from the unrelenting resentment, neurotic tendencies, and anxieties that swallow us for the majority of our day.

Instead of the “next thing”, you’re looking at the thing in front of you. And you’re doing so with both the curiosity of a child and the wisdom and intelligence of an adult.

A powerful and energizing combination.

2. Break the Routine When You Can

Even for children, the period of pure exploration is short-lived.

They are forced to sit inside and learn. They have homework, chores, and other obligations.

But if you drive by any school around lunchtime, you’ll see play; pushing the limit of the body, creating ways to engage with the physical world.

If you want each day to feel different, if you want to become a more interesting person, you have to do what most others are unwilling to do. You have to seek discomfort. A new challenge, a break in the routine. Spontaneity.

Showing up to the gym after work to walk on the treadmill in front of the TV for an hour is better than no exercise. But running through your town or city at night, when the world is sleeping, can give you a new perspective and energy that the typical routine gym session can not.

Scrolling on your phone at the restaurant bar might be the comfortable thing. But asking the stranger next to you what the best part of their day has been might open an insightful conversation or idea.

When you have wide open days, don’t spend them watching something in front of a screen, explore. Seek ways to interrupt the pattern of your life. Find a new hiking trail, look up a new and complicated recipe; push yourself to engage deeper with your hobby or passion.

To put it simply, you need to find ways to surprise yourself to live a more interesting life.

Listen, Really Listen

The world is always telling you something. Listen to it.

We’re social beings. When we close ourselves off to others, we close ourselves off to the collective wisdom of others. When someone speaks to you, take the time to engage with what they are saying. Don’t simply wait for your turn to speak.

If you’re in a long-term relationship, it can feel like you know everything there is to know about the other person. But when you observe and study their mannerisms and behavior like you’re on a first date, you’ll be surprised to find that there is always something new to learn. This applies to friends, family, and anyone else you have regular contact with throughout the day.

Writers and artists are exceptional observers, it’s what allows them to become masters of their craft.

Let life slow down sometimes.

Sit outside and watch the world. Look at the endless ways in which humans engage and move through space.

There is so much to be grateful for.

Take the time to appreciate it all.

This is how you lead a more interesting life.

This is how you become a more interesting person.

”When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”

-Ernest Hemingway