I don't think so. I waited till I was 32 to have kids. Everyone is different and on their own path. However, I would say that if you want kids and you're not actively taking the steps to find a partner and have financial stability you need to reassess your priorities.
We are conditioned in denial. Life is suffering, but we have the means to pretend it's not or doesn't have to be. I think there's a significant backlash to the trend you're describing as well. The Jordan Peterson phenomenon is a sign of that, contra Taylor Swift. He hammers relentlessly at the existential and painful truths about life and the consequences of not living in those truths, and thousands of the generation you are discussing, affected most by social trends, are finding his message of responsibility bracing and compelling. He offers an 'antidote to chaos', and chaos is certainly what the culture is overwhelmed by right now on many fronts.
Completely agree. There is a major schism in the culture between awareness and comfortable delusion. I see it in my friend group and family. Awareness of the necessity of hardship and adversity as a path toward self-respect will find us all in the end; hopefully, while we still have time left to do something about it.
Life is shaped by difficulty and responsibility. For the first time in human history life is easy enough to (mostly) avoid both of those things, and so many people do. They sense that something is wrong and that their life is shallow and stunted but they can't see a way out or, having seen a way, are too timid or neurotic to take the steps.
Those of us who have been through prolonged difficulty and summited obstacles tell them that their life isn't all that it could be, and that chasing adventure and challenge and children and growth will bring a new sense of purpose and fulfillment and LIFE. Most people don't listen though. They bury themselves in self-obsession and consumption and pathological political fantasy. Our leaders, our teachers, our therapists, and our intelligentsia will mostly tell people what they want to hear (since their livelihoods depend on retaining paying customers rather than improving society)... but I see a growing awareness that we have a problem, and there are many people who know where the solution can be found. You clearly do. Every person has to walk that path for themselves though. Thanks for this.
Hardship and struggle are what define us. I like to image the Hobbits staying by the warmth of their fire in Hobbiton only to have a dark horde knocking at their door by year's end. The journey of life gives us wisdom, and at the end of it all, if we can pass that onto the next generation it's a blessing.
I'm just curious as to whether you think that not having children is "failure to launch"?
I don't think so. I waited till I was 32 to have kids. Everyone is different and on their own path. However, I would say that if you want kids and you're not actively taking the steps to find a partner and have financial stability you need to reassess your priorities.
I agree. Thank you for the reply.
We are conditioned in denial. Life is suffering, but we have the means to pretend it's not or doesn't have to be. I think there's a significant backlash to the trend you're describing as well. The Jordan Peterson phenomenon is a sign of that, contra Taylor Swift. He hammers relentlessly at the existential and painful truths about life and the consequences of not living in those truths, and thousands of the generation you are discussing, affected most by social trends, are finding his message of responsibility bracing and compelling. He offers an 'antidote to chaos', and chaos is certainly what the culture is overwhelmed by right now on many fronts.
Completely agree. There is a major schism in the culture between awareness and comfortable delusion. I see it in my friend group and family. Awareness of the necessity of hardship and adversity as a path toward self-respect will find us all in the end; hopefully, while we still have time left to do something about it.
Thanks for reading
Life is shaped by difficulty and responsibility. For the first time in human history life is easy enough to (mostly) avoid both of those things, and so many people do. They sense that something is wrong and that their life is shallow and stunted but they can't see a way out or, having seen a way, are too timid or neurotic to take the steps.
Those of us who have been through prolonged difficulty and summited obstacles tell them that their life isn't all that it could be, and that chasing adventure and challenge and children and growth will bring a new sense of purpose and fulfillment and LIFE. Most people don't listen though. They bury themselves in self-obsession and consumption and pathological political fantasy. Our leaders, our teachers, our therapists, and our intelligentsia will mostly tell people what they want to hear (since their livelihoods depend on retaining paying customers rather than improving society)... but I see a growing awareness that we have a problem, and there are many people who know where the solution can be found. You clearly do. Every person has to walk that path for themselves though. Thanks for this.
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/a-guide-to-treating-symptoms-of-mental-a0b
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/the-gift-of-violence?r=1neg52
Thanks for the thoughtful response James.
Hardship and struggle are what define us. I like to image the Hobbits staying by the warmth of their fire in Hobbiton only to have a dark horde knocking at their door by year's end. The journey of life gives us wisdom, and at the end of it all, if we can pass that onto the next generation it's a blessing.