Very good reflection. I think about my children and how they have grown into productive adults. They were raised in the 50's and 60's where we taught respect and orderly behavior. Ever watch children today at the dinner table? They are up and about whenever they want. We used to see (in general) children at the table at any age stay seated and ask to be excused. I bring that up because it is a simple example of the basics of setting rules for children at the earliest ages and expect them to obey them. It's called respect and obedience to society's rules early in life. This way they have something to compare themselves versus today's children) who have the media as their standard (as you point out.) Lastly don't forget at any age to tell them everyday you love them and that you are always there for them. (Get's to be difficult with teenagers in all honesty but probably the most important time.)
i know what might help tho: maybe during the most psychologically and physically difficult and confusing time of life we should introduce the idea that the main thing that is happening to them has no clear meaning or definite outcome. it is no longer a given, it is a "choice" they have to make. and doctors and surgeons (but not their parents, lol, that would be interfering) are awaiting their decision.
disclaimer: im gen x born 1975. i have 3 kids 14, 12, 8.
so there's 1) the message (the broad strokes worldview kids are getting): the world is both bad and literally dying (global warming will destroy the planet, etc.) but not only that, the WORST thing in the world (and the cause of not only the destruction of the planet but every social evil) is the civilized west, but specifically the usa as the manifest poster child of evil - colonization, capitalism, imperialistic/hegemonic, etc. we (that means your parents and grandparents, kids, and your entire heritage if you are white) represent and are the chief cause everything wrong with the world.
2) the messenger (sources of the message): the message is MASSIVELY amplified, coming from all sides and its personalized. it is amplified in three important ways: a) it is being explicitly taught from preschool on by their teachers in ways that we never experienced (until college maybe) and b) "the world" and all of the "information" therein is mainlined into their brains hourly from their personal devices and it is framed in the most inflammatory, divisive and addictive way possible (the algorithm) and c) the message is made more forceful by its personalization via social media. so you literally have to, you basically have no choice, see into your friends brains. and in many cases if you refuse to engage with it, and take sides, you are complicit in the wrong, whatever the topic may be that day. ie you are not anti-racist if you dont post blm on your instagram when a black criminal gets killed by a cop, or whatever.
the overall effect is: an extremely pessimistic and divisive message ON BLAST 24/7 and you are basically required to engage. absolutely shocking that this poison would result in depressed, disillusioned, anxious, angry, confused, lost kids, right?
this information environment simply did not exist for us as kids. at all. ngl it was amazing. but it would be foolish to assume its not doing the same thing to us as "adults". but surely even worse for kids.
so that i dont ignore your question, i have 3 kids as mentioned and i am happy to say they are happy, healthy and doing very well. what do i do? they dont have smartphones. we talk a lot. i ask, what are they learning? i give them my view of things. humbly, but also not afraid to speak directly about things. i teach them. i talk a lot about history. i instill a strong work ethic. expect good grades. make sure theyre in activities and sports. physically healthy. exercise. feed them good food. show them how to fix things around the house and work on cars - practical skills. go to church. and mostly just try to be a good dad and husband. so far they seem to be doing ok. its scary though. especially as the oldest is just now becoming an adult. terrifying. lol
We're again caught in a familiar trap: groundbreaking new technology that we have little foresight and ability to manage effectively. This is made all the worse by the slow eroding of our traditions and social structure over the last decade.
But slowly, with parents like you, we will start to right the ship. Little by little. It's amusing how easy it is to take for granted the times in which we both grew up. A lot of the things that my parents did which made me roll my eyes are things I can't wait to instill in my own kids: "Go outside and play without a screen!" And just being present as a family is more important than ever. Keep it up and thanks for reading!
Very good reflection. I think about my children and how they have grown into productive adults. They were raised in the 50's and 60's where we taught respect and orderly behavior. Ever watch children today at the dinner table? They are up and about whenever they want. We used to see (in general) children at the table at any age stay seated and ask to be excused. I bring that up because it is a simple example of the basics of setting rules for children at the earliest ages and expect them to obey them. It's called respect and obedience to society's rules early in life. This way they have something to compare themselves versus today's children) who have the media as their standard (as you point out.) Lastly don't forget at any age to tell them everyday you love them and that you are always there for them. (Get's to be difficult with teenagers in all honesty but probably the most important time.)
i know what might help tho: maybe during the most psychologically and physically difficult and confusing time of life we should introduce the idea that the main thing that is happening to them has no clear meaning or definite outcome. it is no longer a given, it is a "choice" they have to make. and doctors and surgeons (but not their parents, lol, that would be interfering) are awaiting their decision.
i agree with all of the above.
tldr probably.
disclaimer: im gen x born 1975. i have 3 kids 14, 12, 8.
so there's 1) the message (the broad strokes worldview kids are getting): the world is both bad and literally dying (global warming will destroy the planet, etc.) but not only that, the WORST thing in the world (and the cause of not only the destruction of the planet but every social evil) is the civilized west, but specifically the usa as the manifest poster child of evil - colonization, capitalism, imperialistic/hegemonic, etc. we (that means your parents and grandparents, kids, and your entire heritage if you are white) represent and are the chief cause everything wrong with the world.
2) the messenger (sources of the message): the message is MASSIVELY amplified, coming from all sides and its personalized. it is amplified in three important ways: a) it is being explicitly taught from preschool on by their teachers in ways that we never experienced (until college maybe) and b) "the world" and all of the "information" therein is mainlined into their brains hourly from their personal devices and it is framed in the most inflammatory, divisive and addictive way possible (the algorithm) and c) the message is made more forceful by its personalization via social media. so you literally have to, you basically have no choice, see into your friends brains. and in many cases if you refuse to engage with it, and take sides, you are complicit in the wrong, whatever the topic may be that day. ie you are not anti-racist if you dont post blm on your instagram when a black criminal gets killed by a cop, or whatever.
the overall effect is: an extremely pessimistic and divisive message ON BLAST 24/7 and you are basically required to engage. absolutely shocking that this poison would result in depressed, disillusioned, anxious, angry, confused, lost kids, right?
this information environment simply did not exist for us as kids. at all. ngl it was amazing. but it would be foolish to assume its not doing the same thing to us as "adults". but surely even worse for kids.
so that i dont ignore your question, i have 3 kids as mentioned and i am happy to say they are happy, healthy and doing very well. what do i do? they dont have smartphones. we talk a lot. i ask, what are they learning? i give them my view of things. humbly, but also not afraid to speak directly about things. i teach them. i talk a lot about history. i instill a strong work ethic. expect good grades. make sure theyre in activities and sports. physically healthy. exercise. feed them good food. show them how to fix things around the house and work on cars - practical skills. go to church. and mostly just try to be a good dad and husband. so far they seem to be doing ok. its scary though. especially as the oldest is just now becoming an adult. terrifying. lol
We're again caught in a familiar trap: groundbreaking new technology that we have little foresight and ability to manage effectively. This is made all the worse by the slow eroding of our traditions and social structure over the last decade.
But slowly, with parents like you, we will start to right the ship. Little by little. It's amusing how easy it is to take for granted the times in which we both grew up. A lot of the things that my parents did which made me roll my eyes are things I can't wait to instill in my own kids: "Go outside and play without a screen!" And just being present as a family is more important than ever. Keep it up and thanks for reading!